After 2 months

We met again after 2 months separated. i think it'll be awkward for us. but it was all good.

it's like nothing happens between us when we started talk and laugh.

i asked him, "Why we act likes nothing happens before? remember our cold war this 2 months."

he laughed at me, "What is exactly happens heum? there's nothing happens."

then i'm just shut and enjoy time with him like it won't happen again. well it's hard to happens with our situation now. hahaha

in the end of our meeting he told me that i'll makes some notes on diary about that meeting, i said "no, i won't", but i ended up writing about him now -_-"

i want to sleep, but nothing i can do. im insom like usual.

the one i care, won't take care of me. hahaha he can beat my selfishness.

i don't like my ex, he'll do anything to beat my selfishness, that's why i can't moved on.

...

i regret this meeting at first. why should we met? why should i say yes? why i don't refuse his request? why dont we be stranger forever?

but it's me who asked him, "why can't we be friends?"

i read some quotes, "If two past lovers can remain friends, either they never were in love or they still are."

which one us?

he answered me with a question (exactly the same what i think about our situation). he said, "what if it's because you still love me but the other one didn't love?"

this is what i think and told him, "i think so, bcz since the first time it's one sided love. you never loved (me)"

...

he start questioning me. he laugh, "if what you said is true, i wanna ask, why you still love me in fact i don't love you? what will you answer?"

"9 months we become a couple, 2 years i'm loving you. it's means i'm faithful and you don't need to doubting my feeling."

stupid girl, stupid answer hahaha

he skak mat me, "don't get me wrong dear, a man never show his love even he really loves you."

"i know. my brother said so."

maybe he sigh after heard my answer. "i stand by you all this time. if i don't love you, i'll never stand by you all this time."

"SO, THE REASON WHY WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS IS BECAUSE YOU STILL IN LOVE WITH ME."

"YOU WRONG."

#pingsan hahaha he making silly jokes that my last answer is wrong :D

...

when i updated my bbm pm, he chat me. i said i missed someone and he confidently say it's for him, but actually is no.

it's for someone. but i told him yes, it's for him ckck

he said, tomorrow we will meet, why you should miss me? you can hug me as long as you want.

#sigh missing someone not always about hug, kiss or else keles. maybe i'm just missing you beside me or our memories.

i know he frowning. "what's our memories? fight and fight and fight. that's what you said memories."

#sighagain 9months and the memories only fight? -__-

we ever happy together, laugh together. why you won't remember that?

he said, "come back to me, leave him. i'm the only one who'll makes you perfect."

i smiled at him. "back to you, let you hurt me again, let me burn myself again, let me enjoy the pain like enjoy the drug, that's what you thought MAKES ME PERFECT :)" no thanks!